


Running for Your Life With a Side of Sass

by Yashiko61



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, One Off, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9925466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yashiko61/pseuds/Yashiko61
Summary: When Jim brings his CMO down to what should have been a quick diplomatic meeting, he should not have been surprised at the level of sass that gets exchanged when it all goes to shit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this set of what was supposed to be first sentence prompts (http://thepathlesstrekked.tumblr.com/post/157562997617/first-sentence-writing-prompts), but some of these were too amazing to not use, so this was a bit of a personal challenge to see how many I could fit in (there are a couple with a one word difference) in one piece.

“I don’t know how you always get yourself into these situations, Jim,” Leonard yelled.

“In my defense,” Jim yelled back, over the sound of an explosion that was likely from an honest to god mortar of all things. “I thought this would go a _lot_ more smoothly!”

“Smoother?! You know what, this is the last time I let you convince me to come down during one of your harebrained so-called ‘diplomatic’ missions.”

“It was supposed to be a diplomatic mission! Hell, technically it still is! Oh, jesus, Bones-” Jim grabbed the doctor by his shirt collar and pulled him back behind the smoking remains of a building in the capital city, where there was still better cover. “Stay down!”

“Ow, what was that for?” Leonard demanded, indignantly.

“You’re more handsome with your head still attached to your body.” Jim flipped open the communicator again, only to see that the signal was still jammed. “Come on, Uhura. I hope they figure out how to bypass the jammer soon before we all get killed.”

“So you seriously didn’t see this coming?” Leonard asked, accusingly.

“No, Mister Pessimist-”

“Doctor Pessimist to you-”

“Shaddup Bones, no, I didn’t see this coming. Months of work done ahead of us, intelligence, anthropological studies, a detailed political analysis, nothing suggested that there was a god-damned xenophobic segment of the population that was completely integrated within the central government and military, were organized enough to be this effective but totally without making the others suspicious, to the point where if they decided to revolt, they had all the means to attack those institutions with their own damn weaponry.”

“So in other words, you’re surprised there was a coup,” Leonard pointed out, totally unhelpfully.

“No! Okay, maybe yeah. But I’m trying to say that as far as we knew, the usual warning signs were missing.”

“I’m trying very hard not to see all this as a metaphor for my life,” Leonard sighed.

“As long as Uhura breaks the jamming soon, I’ve got everything under control,” Jim said, ignoring Leonard's last comment.

“Right,” Leonard retorted sarcastically. Overhead, the mortar fire seemed to shift directions. Jim looked around.

“We gotta move, if they continue to shift, it will start coming down over us.”

“Closer than it already is?”

Jim just rolled his eyes and pointed towards an archway leading into a courtyard, and making sure that Leonard was following him, made his way over. The locals liked to build their residential areas in complexes - a courtyard in the middle with two or three exits to the street. Inside was a tree filled garden, and as they moved through it on the way to the far exit, a mortar took a direct hit to the corner of the housing that surrounded them.

Jim shoved Leonard into an open doorway as debris rained down into the courtyard. It was dark inside, and Jim tripped on a step he didn’t notice. He went down with a thud, and groaned as Leonard peered down at him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah…” Jim only just noticed that when he fell, his hand landed in a pool of something. He held up his hand and tried to get a better look in the dim entryway. “I just fell onto something though. Ugh, gross, it’s _sticky_.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, no idea what it is though, what do you think-”

“Nope, I absolutely refuse to touch that.” Leonard didn’t pretend to hide his disgust at the notion.

Jim just sighed and rubbed his hand against his pants. They were pretty much ruined anyways by this point. The quartermaster would just have to deal with it. When they got back to the ship. Which was hopefully soon.

Outside, the rain of dust and debris was mostly over, and Jim followed Leonard back into the courtyard. They got to the far archway that they had been aiming for before when one of the local soldiers spotted them. Jim froze, heart pounding, and grabbed the doctor. He had no way to know if the soldier was friendly or not.

“Stop right there you alien scum!” The universal translator spat out, distorted but understandable. Not friendly. Jim hurriedly looked for options and shoved Leonard towards one, yelling “Run! Just run!”

A few shots rang out over their heads, but the two of them skidded around a corner and continued running towards the wharf that the city had been built around centuries before. Leonard was having terrible flashbacks to the whole Nibiru incident. Well, as long as it didn’t eventually lead totally down the same path. The only bright side was that the mortar fire wasn't raining over this part of the city.

They had nearly reached the water when Jim’s communicator made a chirping sound to signal an incoming call.

“Kirk here,” Jim yelled into the device, breathlessly.

“Kirk, where have you _been_ , I was ready to call the fleet!” Uhura complained.

“In case you haven’t noticed yet, the signal was jammed right about the same time, as, I don’t know, the whole capital erupted in an apparent civil war, or coup, or something!” Jim snarked right back.

“Get us out of here!” Leonard yelled behind Jim as they continued to run along the wharf, away from the port.

“The transporters are still blocked. Scotty’s trying to find a way to counteract it, but it took us nearly half an hour just to re-establish an audio link.”

“Not helping, Uhura!”

“At this point, what else could possibly go wrong?” Leonard’s voice had taken on a more or less permanent whining tone. Another group of soldiers appeared and started to move towards them.

“You just had to ask, didn’t you?” Jim sighed, pulling Leonard into a closed off alleyway. This game of cat and mouse had gotten really old. “Uhura, we are being pursued by the faction that seems to have taken offense to this whole ‘let’s join the federation’ thing. We have no way to know who is friendly or not, but we are probably already boxed in. We need you guys to get that transporter working already!”

“We’re working as fast as we can. The jamming was really effective, and Sulu is dealing with the demands that we leave the system that they have been sending us, but we’re running out of time to stall,” Uhura rambled on, frantically.

“What do you mean by _leaving_?” Leonard asked, eyes wild. “You can’t just leave us behind!”

“We’re not!” Uhura emphasized.

Jim poked his head around the corner, looking to see if the soldiers had gotten closer to them. “Look, just get us out as fast as you can. I can’t guarantee much longer that we will be able to avoid capture unless we can find a friendly group.”

The sound of an aircraft above them intensified. Jim would later argue that flying around when people were still shooting mortars was a stupid move, but in the moment, he knew that both of them needed to get out of sight again until Scotty could finally get them back up to the ship.

“Bones, I know you’re going to hate me, but the bay-”

“Oh hell no, Jim. Not this again.”

“Oh come on, give me one good reason not to jump in the water.”

“I can think of over a dozen reasons why it’s stupid!” Leonard exclaimed.

“Well, it’s not like we have many options here!”

“Yeah, and losing most of our cover in exchange for probably getting ourselves drowned in water polluted by only God knows what is a great alternative.”

“In my defense, it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. And besides, you're being awfully sassy for someone who regularly avoids his away mission training."

"And like you are any better about coming for your physicals."

"Crap,” Jim muttered, as he peered around the corner again. The soldiers on foot were getting closer, clearly searching for them.

“How have you made it this long without someone throwing you out of an airlock or something?” Leonard rolled his eyes.

“Shh!” Jim shushed Leonard, as the sound of footsteps got louder. They scrambled behind what was probably some sort of large waste receptacle, Jim’s arm pushing Leonard back against the damp masonry of the building.

The sound of footsteps faded away, and after a moment, Jim carefully peered out - right in front of a very annoyed looking soldier.

“You need to stop,” the translator gurgled his words.

“Oh shit.”

To the intense relief of both of them, the sight of the shocked soldier was the last thing they saw as the world dissolved around them as they were transported out. The streaks of gold faded from their vision as they crouched on the Enterprise’s transporter pad, and all Leonard could do was release a huge sigh of relief.

“About time, Scotty,” Jim said with an air of nonchalance that Leonard was far too aware was only a facade.

“Sorry sir, whatever they did to jam signals all over the capital region was really effective. I’d love nothing more than to know how they-”

“I think there are bigger issues we need to work out first. Then maybe we can find out how they did it,” Jim reasoned as he stepped down from the pad, and pulled out his comm. “Uhura, give me 10 minutes and then I want our rep with the government on the line. I want to know why they hid the fact that an entire segment of their military and public service was on the verge of unrest.”

“We are already trying to get some answers. I’ll pass on the request,” Uhura responded, sounding relieved.

“Bones, let's go get cleaned up. Then I want you to go get checked out. I promise I’ll get down there for the same eventually.” Jim led Leonard towards the turbolift and they went to their respective quarters. Jim only had time to change into a fresh uniform and quickly wash his face, but Leonard took the opportunity to take a hot shower, relaxing under the spray as his muscles began to protest from the extended run the two of them were forced into.

Now that the adrenalin rush was over, the exhaustion began to wash over him. He finished in the bathroom and threw on a fresh uniform, but had barely reached the med bay when M’Benga forced him to sit on an exam table while Chapel fetched a glass of juice and a sandwich for him.

M’Benga pulled him off duty for the rest of the day after a quick examination, and after Leonard made him promise to notify him when Jim finally made it over for his own examination, he went back to his quarters, where he dug out the scotch and allowed himself a finger or two’s worth as he flopped onto the couch.

\---

A few hours later, he woke to the feeling of Jim running his fingers through his hair. He must have dozed off not long after he finished his drink, and his head was still pretty fuzzy from waking up from the deep nap, but he smiled and looked up at Jim. Jim looked exhausted but otherwise fine, and he managed a guarded smile back.

“You’re back.”

“Yeah, M’Benga said you wanted to know when I made it down there. I figured I would check up on you myself instead. How are you feeling?”

Leonard levered himself up from where he laid on the couch. “Like my legs have been run through a meat tenderizer, but otherwise okay. I’m starving again though.”

That earned a small chuckle from Jim. “Yeah, Rand shoved me some food just before the call with the government officials. But that was 5 hours ago.”

“Crap, I didn’t mean to sleep nearly 4 hours…”

“It’s okay. I probably would have done the same if I could have. Oh Bones, what a clusterfuck,” Jim sighed.

“So what did they say.”

“Oh the usual bullshit. They knew that there was a small segment that might have expressed reservations about the membership deal, but in no way knew about how pervasive and organized it was within the public service and military, et cetera. I’ve already let the fleet know to pass on to the diplomatic corps that the membership offer is suspended until this can be looked into further. But for now, I’m honestly too tired to care.”

“Let’s go grab something to eat.”

“Ugh, I’m wiped, maybe I’ll just head back to my quarters.”

“Nah, I need something to eat, and I’m sure you do too, Jim,” Leonard said. “Then once you’ve had a shower we can both crash for the night.”

Jim gave a smile. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

\----

Hours later, Leonard woke up in Jim's darkened quarters. Jim, who was snoring away in a way that only ever occurred if he was either horribly overtired or sick, was passed out in a cocoon of blankets next to him. The chrono shone in the corner, reading “0200” in bold red numbers. His stomach gurgled as he sat up, and although they had only gotten to bed maybe just over 4 hours earlier, he was desperately hungry again.

“Jim,” he called out gently. Next to him, the blond snorted awake and peered up at him drowsily.

“Huh, wha?” Jim asked, mostly still asleep.

“I’m hungry.”

Jim just rolled over with a huff. “Why did you wake me up for that?”

“I don’t care that it’s 2:00am, we need pie.”

Jim’s only response was a middle finger salute.

Leonard swung his legs off the bed, feeling for the slippers he kept around for when he slept over in Jim’s quarters.

“I love you too.”

\---

Many more hours later, Jim finally woke up again to the simulated sunrise lighting that had kicked in. Leonard was long gone, but on the table, sure enough, was a slice of pie. Jim ran his hands through his hair and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> The answer: 16/30 prompts.


End file.
